


Eddies

by Artemis1000



Series: Snapshots - Prompt fic [8]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Droid rights, Established Relationship, M/M, Power Imbalance, Robot Feels, Robot/Human Relationships, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 07:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14131251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis1000/pseuds/Artemis1000
Summary: "Now follow my orders or I’ll shut you off myself!"It's said in anger, in hurt, too caught up in wanting to be alone to do anything than push away the ones you love. Cassian's always been good at finding the right words to cut deep.This time, he may have cut K-2 deeper than he ever intended to.





	Eddies

**Author's Note:**

> You've got to thank [Merfilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly) for this for giving me the prompt _How am I supposed to trust you ever again?_ for Droidcaptain from the angst prompt list. It was tough to figure out what betrayal could happen between them and here we are, with robot whump. I can never resist robot whump.
> 
> See content advice in end notes.

It had happened in a moment, in a careless, thoughtless moment, still caught up in the heat of battle and the darkness threatening to sweep over him and drown him.

“Do as I say, Kay!” he’d snapped for the third time – Kay was stubborn but he usually never had to tell him anything more than twice. Then again, he usually wasn’t telling Kay to leave him alone when Cassian was bleeding, the tears which Kay had found him in not quite dry yet on his grimy face. And when he had still stubbornly refused to leave the tiny pilot’s cabin on their shuttle, to leave Cassian to his pain and his dark thoughts, he’d snarled at him, “You’re a droid, act like one! Now follow my orders or I’ll shut you off myself!”

Two weeks later Cassian still felt cold when he remembered how still K-2 had gone, eerily still even by a droid’s mechanical standards. With his photoreceptors dimmed, Cassian had thought for a moment that he’s shutting himself down right then and there but then he’d said, “yes, Master,” and left.

At the time he hadn’t even realized the damage he had done, he’d been too caught up in his own hurt.

He didn’t realize it until later and even then only slowly.

K-2 didn’t pester him day and night in the sickbay, he came by exactly once and then only to report that his repairs were finished and he had asked to be returned to active duty. K-2 always avoided returning to active duty before Cassian did, for he didn’t like working with others.

He had still been woozy from the bacta tank at the time, it wasn’t until he was back in his own bunk in his own quarters – and still no K-2SO in sight to fuss over him – that he realized K-2 had stuck to calling him _Captain Andor_ and even _sir_ in sickbay.

A week later they were sent out on an easy mission, just the two of them, and Cassian had hoped things would just go back to normal without needing to mention that ugly day ever again. After all, K-2 still talked to him. He still worked with him.

He was just…

Slumping in the co-pilot’s chair, Cassian rubbed his hands over his face. They were once again on the way back to base but he wasn’t bleeding this time and he wasn’t too caught up in his own demons to realize what was happening around him. No, as he watched the familiar sight of hyperspace engulf them, he couldn’t have been more aware of what was happening.

He had gained a model droid - but he missed his boyfriend. He hadn’t seen anything of him in two weeks.

“Can you stop acting so… so…” He shot K-2 a frustrated look from the corner of his eyes, equally as frustrated with the droid’s stubbornness as with his own inability to find the right words to fix this. “…so droid-like?”

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m not certain I will be able to follow your orders. I’m not programmed with advanced human-droid relations protocols.”

“Can you stop that?!”

“Stop what, sir?”

“This!” He got up and squished himself between K-2 and the controls, giving him no other choice but to look at him while they talked. Well, unless he left. Cassian wouldn’t be surprised if he left. “With every passing day, you’ve been acting more like…” He gestured at the droid, who sat there not in his usual slouch but perfectly stiff and poised like an Imperial droid fresh from the factory. “Like this!”

It hadn’t been anywhere near as bad at first, Cassian was sure of that. This would have been impossible to explain away as his own exhaustion or insecurities making things look worse than they were. Now, looking at the mess they’d made of things, Cassian found himself kind of wishing it had been this bad from the start. Then he wouldn’t have wasted two weeks waiting for things to fix themselves, all the while K-2’s resentment grew.

“Kay, I…” Once again he trailed off with a defeated sigh.

K-2 shifted his head forward, a gesture more like himself than anything he had done in days. “So you have finally noticed.”

Cassian’s shoulders slumped. “I’ve been noticing it for weeks.” He bit down on his bottom lip, well aware how this would sound. He couldn’t bring himself to look at K-2. “I thought it would pass.”

Only that wasn’t quite true. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to deal with this, not exactly, but he’d been hurt too and he just hadn’t known how to make it better without making it worse. So he’d tried to pretend everything was normal and hoped that if he pretended hard enough K-2 would join in and things could go back to normal for real.

“It didn’t pass.”

“I know that now, Kay.”

He leaned down, forehead against K-2’s. The droid permitted it, which Cassian decided to take as a good sign even though he didn’t reach for Cassian as he normally would.

“You never said anything.”

“I never did.”

They remained silent for long moments, only the hum of the shuttle’s systems and K-2’s cooling systems filling the quiet of outer space. This was a quiet Cassian liked. It was comforting, calming, familiar.

Today, Cassian kept waiting for K-2 to say something – to tell him it was okay, he was forgiven, or even that he wasn’t, just as long as he broke the silence.

When there was nothing but more silence his shoulders drooped and he returned to his seat, giving himself the appearance of being busy with hyperspace calculations. It was a flimsy excuse. They wouldn’t even need to calculate the next jump for hours yet. But if K-2 wanted distance… Well, it was the least he could do to respect his boundaries.

“Would you shut me off if I’m too annoying?”

Cassian’s fingers didn’t still but they slowed. He pressed his lips together to hold back his hurt – too afraid he might once again say something he would come to regret.

He used to be good at finding the right words for K-2SO. K-2 used to be the only one for whom he could find the right words.

He waited until he was almost certain he wouldn’t say anything he would come to regret – he still wanted to angrily ask if K-2 really thought he would, if he had ever given him reason to think so. Yet Cassian knew better than to ask. It was a lesson you learned early as a spy; never ask questions if you couldn’t live with the worst possible answer. He inhaled, exhaled and forced that back, too.

“I can’t see myself ever doing that,” he said, his voice just as hushed as K-2’s had been. He still kept his eyes on his hyperspace calculations. He was pretty sure he’d plotted a course into a sun.

“You’re not promising you won’t.”

He shook his head. “Three weeks ago I would have promised I’d never threaten you with it.”

If he had been an optimist, Cassian might have taken it as evidence for the strength and equality of their relationship that K-2 was so deeply wounded by the mere threat of something which organics did all the time to shut up droids.

Cassian was no optimist.

They fell back into silence.

He was all out of words. Maybe he’d never been good with them at all, had simply relied on K-2 being able and willing to read between the lines what he lacked the courage to voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you sorry for what you said or that I’m upset with you?”

Cassian finally abandoned his pretense of running calculations. His hands dropped limply into his lap. “Will you hate me if I tell you it’s both?”

“I don’t hate you for being honest with me.”

“Kay, I…”

“Tell me you won’t do it again.”

Cassian opened his mouth to promise, of course he would promise, he would promise whatever it took to make it so K-2 could bear to look at him again… Except K-2 knew that he would. He had no reason to trust his words. “I will prove it.” He inhaled deeply. “If you give me the chance.”

K-2 finally turned to look at Cassian. “You are being very difficult today. I will always forgive you.” His vocoder buzzed static. “I just don’t want to have to.”

He nodded sharply, not trusting himself to speak.

He could be harsh, Cassian knew that. When he was angry, he had an uncanny talent to find the words that would cut deepest. He didn’t know if that would ever change. K-2 could be harsh and hurtful in his own ways, albeit they were usually far blunter than what he had employed this time. Was it passive-aggressive? Cassian was loathe to call it such, it struck him as dismissive, as if he was brushing off K-2’s expression of hurt as nothing but an elaborate punishment for him.

“I love you.” He didn’t say it often enough, Cassian knew, and mostly just in moments like this one when the words were laced with pain instead of joy.

K-2’s hand covered his. Cassian brought it to his lips and brushed his lips over K-2’s silver knuckles.

He exhaled and closed his eyes. Once the wounds had faded to scars they would be stronger and wiser for it, he reminded himself. They always were.

“You are a very silly human,” K-2 told him. He didn’t pull his hand away, not even when Cassian interlaced their fingers.

They would come out of this stronger, adding yet another item to the list of adversities their love had withstood. For now… for now, they would just have to walk off the pain.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not quite sure how to give content advice here. I went for "Power Imbalance" in the tags since it deals with the issue of, well, it just being a fact that SW organics can and will shut off droids at will. It doesn't happen in the fic or between Cassian and Kay but dealing with the possibility of it is the main theme of the fic. 
> 
> Let's go with "deals with themes of power imbalance and loss of bodily autonomy."


End file.
